Laila , Theo Ch. 08

*Hi everyone! Fun fact: I’ve read both books mentioned in my sociology class and I HIGHLY recommend them. Also, just a note- we’re nearing the end of our journey this time around with Laila and Theo, only a couple of left! Thank you for your continued interest, it means a lot -J *

It was weeks into the semester when Laila and Theo were bombarded with papers and projects, including a lengthy sociology paper from Professor Chew. They heard his papers were intense with a minimum of twenty pages and the thought of writing that much was intimidating.

It was a Thursday afternoon when Laila and Theo were back in Professor Chew class, which had dwindled down to just thirty students. Laila assumed they dropped the class before Professor Chew got more assertive with his lesson plans, which he was notorious for.

“Your upcoming project will focus on both lower-income communities and upper-class society,” Chew said. “I hope by this time each of you has bought Evicted and Coming Apart. I’m doing something a little different with you all this semester. Instead of doing a research project where I have you study the community, I want you to dig deep into yourselves of how your own life relates to these books. Essentially, this paper will revolve around you and your life. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, you can relate them back to the student body and their income levels. For more in-depth information, I’ve attached a demographic worksheet of the student body here to the outline.”

“Professor Chew, what if we feel unsafe talking to people from those lower-income communities?” Amy Koss asked from the front row.

“And why would you feel unsafe?” Chew asked, passing out papers to the first row. “They are your fellow students.”

Amy pursed her lips. “I mean, people who live like that are just here because affirmative action, at least I worked to get here.”

“And do you know every student on campus enough to make that assumption?” Professor Chew asked as he handed Theo his outline.

Amy caught herself. “Well, no but-“

“I suggest you open up your mind a little more, Ms. Koss.” Prof. Chew said.

Amy closed her mouth. The entire whispered and Laila giggled to herself. After class, She and Theo spent the next few hours at the library doing their assigned reading while Laila worked, organizing book data on the library’s work computer. Laila enjoyed nights like this because it was one of the three libraries on campus that didn’t have as much foot traffic, so she could catch up on homework.

“Here, I brought you some tea,” Theo said as he placed a tumbler of green tea beside Laila as she typed away on the library computer.

Laila glanced over at the tea and smiled. “Thanks, babe.”

Theo sat on the other side of the desk and highlighted parts of Coming Apart and jotted down notes before looking back at Laila.

“I feel like these next couple of months are going to be pretty intense,” Theo said as he turned the page.

Laila took off the cap of the tumbler and blew on the green tea before taking a small sip. “Yeah, I can’t believe we’ll be finished school soon. Seems like just yesterday you were staring at me in business class.”

Theo smiled his perfect, toothy white smile. “How could I help myself? I knew I wanted you since day one.”

She pushed a curl behind her ear before sitting leaning closer to the table, for a kiss. Theo kissed her and held her face in his hands.

“I love you,” Theo said as he stroked her cheek.

Laila’s mouth curled into a smile and kissed him again. “I love you too.”

The pair smiled at one another for a while before returning to their work, but Theo couldn’t help but to look up at Laila’s eyes every so often.

***

Laila took the shuttle bus from the library that night to the first meeting of the Black Women’s Alliance of Brown University on campus. BWABU, for short. She was nervous, but she’d heard the women held informative events on campus that centered around sisterhood and culture, something she’d missed since she started attending there. On the poster, she saw that tonight’s meeting would be held by the vice president, Myra Sturdivant.

The meeting was held in the basement of the English department’s building and when Laila walked in, it already seemed as if she were late. Inside, there sat three rows of other black female students facing a table where a group of black women spoke, assuming they were the court.

“Hi, we ask that everyone sign in at the front.” the girl behind the desk said. She was pretty with a pixie cut and a Brown University sweatshirt.

Laila picked up her bookbag and shuffled around for a pen before writing her name down in cursive. The girl glanced at it and then furrowed her brows.

“You’re Laila Harris?” the girl said with a sharp tone.

Laila smiled and tried to hide that she was nervous. “Yeah, I just moved here from–“

“I’m the vice president, my name is Myra. I’m in charge here while the president is away on study abroad.” the girl said sharply as she crossed her arms over her chest. ümraniye escort “We know all about you.”

Laila was dumbfounded. “You know about me?”

“We heard what those racist white boys did to you and that you’re dating one of their frat brothers.”

Laila’s face went red and the room suddenly felt smaller.

“Myra, stop, let her speak.” a girl with box braids chimed in.

“No,” Myra said. “Stay in your place.”

Laila’s mouth grew dry and she felt like she was red in the face. There was definitely some type of power dynamic taking place here and Laila wanted no part of it.

“You have no idea what it was like after that frat incident.” Myra snarled. “We protested for weeks to get that entire fraternity shutdown, we protested to get those assholes out of here, including your white boyfriend.”

“Theo didn’t do anything, he-“

“He’s guilty by association and I don’t want you here.” she snapped and crossed her arms. “But I guess ya’ll cute or whatever.”

“So I can’t join your organization because of the actions of men that I don’t associate with?”

“You’re too much of a liability,” Myra replied shortly.

“But I thought this group was all about solidarity?”

Myra shrugged and rolled her eyes. “We don’t need another incident.”

Laila left the room crying and furious before anyone could see her upset. She couldn’t believe it. There were only a handful of black organizations on campus and the one that she thought she’d fit into most was rejecting her.

***

That same night, Laila’s eyes were red from lack of sleep and crying, but she was determined not to let what happened at the meeting get her down. It was nearly midnight and she stayed hunched over her dorm room desk drafting her college entrance essays as well as pros and cons lists on each school.

“Come on babe,” Theo said as he rested his hand on her weak shoulder. “You need to get some sleep, you have a long day tomorrow.”

“No,” Laila protested as she stared at the computer screen. “I need to narrow down my list for grad school and I’m already late applying. Howard and Penn State are my top two but what if they don’t accept me?”

“Apply to both.” Theo sighed as he closed his textbook and placed it on the nightstand.

He’d watched her struggle for weeks with her narrowing down the right decision. He already knew he wanted to study Business Marketing at Georgetown University and he had no doubts about getting in, but he hated seeing Laila stress herself out.

“Easy for you to say, you already applied to the schools you want.” Laila cried. “I’m just scared that I’m not good enough and–“

“Please, Laila, you’re smarter than the both of us combined,” Theo explained. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Laila massaged her temples and took one final look at her essay before closing the screen.

“Okay, okay. I’ll meet with my academic advisor in the morning to talk about it.”

“Good,” Theo said as Laila turned her body to face him. “I want you to stop stressing out about this, let’s go to bed.”

***

Laila waited outside her advisor’s office at eight o’clock when she arrived. She was a little embarrassed she almost never came to visit her advisor, despite her being so helpful. Professor Loretz was a middle-aged woman with chestnut brown hair with greying strands in the front. Her neck was always adorned with an assortment of colorful scarves from places she’d visited.

“Laila,” Professor Loretz greeted her as she juggled with keys. “Can I help you with something today?”

The two sat in Professor Loretz’s cluttered office, full of stacks of books and files. Laila exhaled as she took a seat. “I need help with applying to grad school. I’m stuck and I’m not sure what I want to do.”

Professor Loretz sat back in her chair and took a long look at Laila. “What is it that you are truly passionate about, Laila?”

“I just want to help people,” Laila shrugged. “In a perfect world, I’d have a nonprofit to help other black women get into college and receive therapy. I want them to know there are more options in life than just what’s in their surroundings.”

Professor Loretz nodded. “Have you thought about starting your own profit or working in the local government?”

Laila shrugged. “I think it’s something I’d be interested in. Overall, I want to help young teens have access to college and better lives.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Loretz said. “It’s human, you’re a human being you don’t have to go school for that. You could start there.”

“No, I want to go to grad school,” Laila said. “I love school and I want to have that accreditation.”

“I mean, it’s up to you,” Loretz said. “Be a master in any field you want, you certainly have the grades and drive for it.”

Laila thought long and hard about it before she said it. “I want to study social work. I didn’t grow up with a lot of money but I’d like to help others, even if i’m not getting paid much for it,” Laila said. “That’s not why I came to school, I came to school to leave a mark on life.”

Professor pendik escort Loretz nodded. “I think you’ll be one hell of a community leader one day, Ms. Harris and I’d be honored to write you a recommendation to any school of your choosing.”

Laila smiled. “I hope so, too. Thank you, Professor Loretz.”

***

Across campus, Theo was flashing through Coming Apart. The book made him come to terms with his upbringing and the way he taught to think about other people. Before he knew it, it was finished his essay for Chew’s class and it helped him become more reflective. In the past few months, Theo began to feel much better cutting his mother out of his life. He was able to sleep better and think better, he was away from her ideals of him. He never felt comfortable in his own skin around his family and their stuck up respectability politics. Although he worked for what he had, he knew his family’s economic status was a key force in getting him where he was today. More importantly, He was ready for a fresh start away from his family, to build a life with Laila. He didn’t want to fuck it up again with her, he couldn’t.

Theo quit working at the bakery to focus more on his last semester and it proved to be beneficial. He studied more and slept better and he had the privilege of knowing that money was never an issue. He dreamed of going to school in DC, rich with history and things to do. He loved Rhode Island but he was ready for a fresh start away from his family, he wanted to make a name for himself in the world of politics and make real change, change that didn’t revolve around money.

***

Laila was putting away books at work in the library when she was returned to the desk with a note on it. “Come to Room 015 tonight at 7 -BWABU” it read.

She was still embarrassed from the incident from a few nights before but she wouldn’t let that stop her from standing up for herself. After work, she marched into the room where the club’s board sat with their hands clasped as if they were waiting for her.

“We called you to this meeting because we wanted to apologize on behalf of our former vice president,” the girl who Laila remembered to be Aaliyah said. “We-“

“I just wanted you to know I’m better than what you think of me. I’ve been through a lot of shit at this school from both just being with Theo and the assholes at his former fraternity.” Laila’s voice demanded attention. “That is out of my control. I was followed and almost raped and Theo was there for me. He’s not like those guys and they are never coming back to any college ever again.”

The room grew silent.

“I wanted to join this organization because I’m hours away from home and I miss being in safe black spaces.” Laila continued. “I miss the sisterhood and I want that bond again with women who are like me. Is that too much to ask for?”

Aaliyah stood up “It’s not too much to ask for, Laila.”

Laila shook her head and caught her breath and took a seat as if the wind was knocked out of her.

“We apologize for the assumptions made about you, you don’t deserve that. You deserve a safe space where you can be yourself.” another girl on the board said. “We removed Myra from the board and she is no longer welcomed to meetings.”

The women huddled together and whispered together before facing Laila. Aaliyah sat up straight. “Laila Harris, would you still like to join the Black Women’s Alliance of Brown University?

“Yes,” Laila replied confidently. “I would love that.”

Aaliyah smiled gleefully and walked around the table with a button with their logo on it. “Here, this is yours. You’re always welcomed here. We have meetings every Wednesday and hold bi-monthly events and weekly study groups if you’re interested.”

Laila was relieved and it felt like she was finally putting down roots.

That same night, Laila sat in front of her laptop and thought about her life and her time at Brown. She thought about her upbringing with her parents and the way she saw them struggle at times to pay bills, while kids she went to school were handed opportunities. She turned on white noise, put on her headphones, and went to work on her paper as Theo slept beside her.

***

“I can’t believe you think Parks and Rec is better than The Office,” Laila laughed with her friend, Paola the next morning over breakfast.

Paola took a sip. “I can’t get with the dry, plus Leslie is the funniest character.”

“Whatever you say,” Laila giggled. “So what are you going to do after graduation?”

Paola shrugged and pulled a sweater over her shoulders. “I’m thinking about going back to South America. Being on break, my family missed me a lot and I missed them too.”

“I know the feeling.” Laila sighed.

“What about you?” Paola asked. “Are you and Theo thinking about moving someplace?”

Laila mixed her creamer with her coffee and gave it a stir. “I mean, I guess we will if we go to close by grad school. We’ve talked about it, but it’s just a waiting game at this point, ya know?”

“That’s rough,” Paola shrugged. bostancı escort “But at least you’re moving forward. Me and Estefan aren’t sure what we wanna do yet.”

Estefan was the new guy Paola was casually dating. Laila had only met him a few times during study dates with Paola but he seemed like a nice guy.

Laila glanced at her phone, the time had gotten away from her. “Fuck, okay I gotta go, I need to rush to my professor’s office before he leaves.”

“Go, go, it’s okay.” Paola nodded.

By the time she got to Professor Chew’s office, it was nearly ten minutes before his office hours ended but he was still sitting at his desk reading papers when Laila appeared in his doorway.

“Ms. Harris, have a seat,” he greeted with a smile.

Laila felt like she’d been in so many offices that week. Professor Chew’s office was unique but she liked it. He had portraits of Malcolm X and other civil rights leaders on the wall. The furniture in his office was much more comfortable and homier, it didn’t feel stuffy or pretentious like the other offices on campus.

“Thank you for seeing me.” Laila said as she sat down on the large leather couch.

“Of course,” Prof Chew replied, putting papers in a folder. “Are you enjoying the course?”

“Yes, I’m enjoying the books.”

“You’re from Philadelphia, I presume?” Prof Chew pressed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

“How could you tell?”

“A fellow Philadelphian can always tell, something about the way you pronounce your vowels.” Chew chuckled. “Is there something I can help you with, Ms. Harris?”

Laila pulled her backpack off her shoulder and pulled out a copy of her half-finished paper. “I-I know it’s not done yet, but I really wanted your opinion to see if I’m going in the right direction.”

He reached for the paper and took several minutes reading it. Laila was nervous, she studied the way he stared at her paper with his usual stern expression and his hand on his chin.

“You’re on the right track, Ms. Harris,” he said, putting the papers together. “But how does this relate to your life, I didn’t read much of that in the essay.”

Laila looked out the small window as if to ponder and then back at him. “Well, Brown isn’t what I’m used to. I’m not used to being in a school where I’m sometimes the only person of color there. But my experience here taught me a lot and so have my parents.”

“Go on,”

“My parents own their home and I learned the value of a property from them. I learned to not be ashamed of where you come from or what you do, my father taught me that.” Laila said with a smile. “Coming Apart taught me more about privilege and I’ve observed white privilege a lot at this school and how it weeds its way through the halls, into a conversation, and the way policy is made here. In a way, sometimes I feel bad for the wealthy kids here because it seems like they’re so wrapped up in themselves they’ll never see the beauty of the areas and people who don’t look like them.”

Professor Chew sat back in his chair. “You have a good paper on your hands, you just need to finish and tie it into the book’s work more closely. But you’re on the right track and that’s something to be proud of.”

Laila smiled and exhaled. It was like a weight was lifted off her chest. “Thank you, Professor Chew. Thank you so much.”

When Laila left Professor Chew’s office that afternoon, she felt as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders. She immediately called Theo and asked that he pick her up from campus. She swiftly jumped into his car when he pulled up.

“Listen, I know I’ve been a bit of a brat this past week but I’ve been so stressed.” Laila sighed as she strapped on her seatbelt. “I’m sorry if you’ve been feeling a little unappreciated.”

Theo took off his sunglasses and held Laila’s eyes. “You don’t have to apologize, I understand. Now let’s get out of here.”

“Thanks,” Laila smiled. “I’ve had enough office hours for one week.”

“It’s the weekend now,” Theo said as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Wanna get dinner?”

Laila looked out the window as they drove farther away from campus. “I’m in the mood for some Chinese food. Let’s go to Jason’s Wok in the city.”

***

The two enjoyed delicious Chinese food at the upscale Chinese fusion restaurant in Providence. They laughed over dinner and it felt good to destress. Laila taught Theo how to properly hold chopsticks and the night was far from over.

“That was fun,” Laila said as she and Theo walked into his apartment later that night.

Theo took off his winter jacket and hung it on the coat rack to the right of his door. “I knew you needed a night off from all the school stuff. Had to treat my baby.”

Laila held her sweater closer to her body, smiling, almost as if she was cold. Theo came up behind her and gave her a hug. “Thank you, I appreciate that,” she said.

“I mean it,” Theo said as he held her.”I know you’ve been stressed out lately and I wanted to let you know I’m here for you. I want you to know that no matter what we do or where we are in a few months, I want you to make the right choice with school.” Theo said as he held Laila’s face in his hands. “I love you and I want a future with you, Laila. There’s no one else, but I don’t want that to dictate where you apply.”

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